In Search of Strawberry Preserves ©

By Gabe Bowens III



I am in prison for a crime I admitted to doing.
The particulars are very important, but my lawyer advised me that it is in my best interest to not ruminate on them in this…forum.
So, like I said, I’m in prison. South Carolina Department of Corrections to be exact. But it should be called the giant corner you must stick your face in and pretend all the sense you have is not accessible.
I’m getting off the point, there is no correction in the Department of Correction. That is my point; therefore for the last decade and some change of my life in prison I’ve been ‘correcting’ my own behavior.
I started my own behavior modification program. My goal? It’s simple enough, a bagel covered in cream cheese and strawberry preserves.
Thing is, I could easily eat a below grade substitute on visit. But I won’t.
I’m going to force myself to be ‘good’ so I can earn my way to a situation where I can purchase my own bagel with cream cheese and strawberry preserves.
See, it all started in 2004, my seventh year of incarceration, I was blamed for an infraction I had no power over, sent to lock up (which was solitary confinement at the time), and fired from my job as a library clerk.
Being that I have a love for reading, losing my job actually hurt.
Anyway, after the heat died down I found myself with too much time on my hand (no pun intended). Since I pride myself in not wasting time, I took up body building as my hobby and began putting together a plan for my future.
Now wait. You probably wondering why is cream cheese and strawberry preserves so important to me. Aside from it being an item one does not normally have in SCDC. It takes me back to my childhood when I would spend hours enjoying cartoons and playing with my toys. A time when me and life were more innocent (pun intended). See, I grew up in the center of the universe. Brooklyn, New York right in the center of Bed-Sty, where you ‘Do or Die’, but like I said earlier, my lawyer…I can’t talk about it.
Getting back on track. A cream cheese bagel with strawberry preserves will be my own reward for setting a goal and sticking to it. For being good, for striving to correct my actions.
Besides it is a hell of a guilty pleasure.
Okay, back to my plan, in prison there is no such thing as good time or parole. That change started back in the mid 90’s when everybody got tough on crime and decided there needed to be truth in sentencing. Meaning a prisoner must serve a minimum of 85% of their time before he or she is allowed an inkling of hope to return home.
For me that means 19.55 years, and since I like having direction and look forward to the day I’ll be released. I immediately thought of Sugar Bear in the movie “I’m gonna get you sucka” when he was released from prison he was out of tune with the current time and said ‘not me’.
I threw myself at magazines that featured pop culture and breaking technology. I wanted and needed to stay in touch with the world at large and my family.
All because of a scene in a movie that was funny when I watched it, but not so, if I would have to live it.
I’m floating again?
Well, with all punishments there should be a moment of…acceptance. And in that moment there is growth, a sense of enlightenment if you were honest with yourself. And for me, I will reward myself with a bagel covered in cream cheese and strawberry preserves.

Gabe Bowens III
gabebowens@yahoo.com
FACEBOOK: Gabe Jessica Bowens
ISEECOLOR: Gabe and Jessica Bowens


Published titles by Gabe Bowens III
“Urban Fiction: Just a Week Ago, The Paper Boy, 360°”©

Public titles by Gabe Bowens III
“White Clouds”© www.authonomy.com
“The Adventures of Ray Hood”© www.rayhood.blogspot.com